Ask Sassy Mama

Ask Sassy Mama is on Sabbatical

until Summer 2009. See you then!

She’s sassy, she’s bold, she’s spiritual and she has two young boys hanging from the chandeliers! Write in your questions about raising toddlers, marriage, sex and God to Sassy Mama and she’ll share her personal experiences on how she survived and conquered the domestic front…without losing a child or ending up in the local psych ward!  Scroll down to view recent questions…

Sassy Mama has been asked many times if the questions below are real, from real people. The answer is YES. None of the questions asked of Sassy Mama are made up. They come from real people, usually via email, though sometimes in person or through comments on this site. 

To ask Sassy Mama a question pop her an email!

reachsassymama at yahoo dot com.

If your question is chosen, it may take up to three weeks for it to be posted.

April 24:

 

Dear Sassy Mama,
     I have a son who is 22 months and I am seven months pregnant with my second child. Lately, between taking care of a toddler, a husband, and a house I feel my “sassy” has fizzled out. I can’t even imagine how I’m going to be able to keep my sassy ways when I have two youngsters running around this summer. How can I reignite my sass and keep it burning while preparing and adjusting to our new little addition? Is it possible?
 
Needing Sizzle in my Sass

 

 Dear Needing Sizzle in my Sass,

 

Yes, it is possible to reignite your sass, even with babies on the way.  But I must admit that you may first find yourself curled up in your closet in the fetal position wondering why in God’s name you decided to have children at all.  Eventually you will leave the closet though and discover a whole new world with lots of adventure and laughter that only two children close together in age can provide. 

 

I have a few suggestions for reigniting your sass.  I promise you that clinging to your sass as if it were a rope saving you from going over Niagra Falls is vital in raising toddlers.  Just ask the greats like Vickie Iovine and Erma Bombeck.  They have a lot to say on my first suggestion. 

 

1. Find every way possible to laugh.  Yes, some days it may be hysterical crazy woman laughter—but at least it’s a start.  The bigger sense of humor you have when raising a newborn and a toddler, the more you’ll be able to hold on to your sass. 
2. Ask 1 or 2 sassy mamas to keep you accountable in taking care of yourself and your sass.  This is vital because without your own personal network, you might as well flush that sass right down the toilet…or shove it into the diaper genie.  Your babies won’t hold you accountable and hubby has a lot going on too…so you really need to enlist some girlfriends.  Encourage them to call you and ask you, “Hey, did you wear any pink today?  When was the last time you put on your favorite sparkley eye shadow?”  Your girls are a vital key in your survival. 
3. Dust off your dreams.  Put your “dream book” or dream list on the coffee table and revisit it in the quiet moments of the day.  Or better yet, put it in the bathroom for when you lock yourself in there for the only alone time you’ll get all day!  Pick one to think about over the next few months and allow yourself to daydream about it. That way when the time comes for you to pursue it, you’ll have lots of ideas and excitement built up.  Remember, when your kids see you pursuing your dreams, they’ll do as you do, and pursue their own.
4. Finally, keep telling yourself, “this too shall pass.”  Because it really will. There may be a season for you where you wonder if you ever had any sass at all.  But those days will end.  No, really, I swear, they will.  When you finally adjust to carting around two children and the fog lifts—you will feel so proud that you held onto to the little tendrils of sass that you could when the days were dark. 

 

So hang in there, Needing Sizzle in my Sass.  Loads of adventure is coming your way—and it’s worth the trip!  

Sincerely,

Sassy Mama

 

April 1, 2008

Dear Sassy Mama,

I really want to go see Portland but I am having trouble convincing my parents that I am responsible enough to go there alone. What should I do?

Thanks, Wish I could see the world outside of Ohio (via site comment)

 

Dear Wish I Could See the World Outside of Ohio,

Portland rocks!  I can understand why you want to visit the City of Roses.  I have a few suggestions, but I will start with one and we’ll go from there.

 

First, find some pen and paper.  Scribble down the things that are important to your parents…such as your grades or cleaning your room or spending special time with you.

Come up with at least 10.  Then pick 1—the one that you feel they talk about the most.

 

After you chose it, create a “deal” or “contract” on a clean sheet of paper.  You can word it something like this:  If I get all B’s on my report card for one grading period, then I will get written permission to fly to Portland from Mom and Dad.”   Have a section where each of you can sign and date this contract. 

 

Then comes the hard part. Take this contract to them and discuss it. Allow them to make changes as they see fit. Try to avoid getting whiney or saucy or mean while you are negotiating this contract with them—that will only irritate them.  Once you come to some kind of agreement (which may take a few days—don’t worry, be patient) tape it to the fridge.  Then get to work keeping your end of the bargain.  You might even want to use cool star stickers to keep track of your progress…Oh, wait a minute you’re not 3 years old.  Maybe you should start a blog about your goal of getting across the country!  If you do, send me the link and I’ll sign on as one of your personal cheerleaders. Rah, rah, you go can do it!

 

Keep me posted and good luck!

Sassy Mama